If it is happening on two different surfaces, in two different rooms, with two different paint choices and two different sheen levels...I would say it isn't the paint. There is nothing in common to point to "paint problem". A wall paint is a different formula than a cupboard paint. If it all came from the same can...we might be able to point dirty fingers at the paint...but that isn't the case. You mentioned your husband has a tendency to drag his dirty fingers all over the place...I would start there. These two colours you have chosen may also have a tendency to show oil (body oil, cooking oil, etc...they are all oil) a bit more...simply because of their colour and depth of colour. If different colours had been chosen in the same paint...and no finger marks were appearing then we would know FOR SURE it isn't the paint. It may come down to two things...colour and dirty fingers.

If you have bare walls, then choose colours that won't clash and would tie in wiht the room. Then pick out colours you actually like and pick a favourite. Most everything will go with Grey but contrast is usually more visually pleasing.

There are more cons than pros, I'm afraid. Near black floors will show every speck of dust and need constant maintenance. They also will suck up a lot of light, so you need to add lots of extra lighting. If they are shiny, they also show marks just as a mirror does. They are not the best for re-sale properties either, as most people prefer something more medium toned for the long term. I recommend going with a more classic floor, and then adding black accents in furniture, etc. Your kitchen could be mostly white cabinets with some very dark stained sections. Here are some ideas from modern to traditional. Click on the pictures to enlarge them.

Once you go white (which I think is a great idea) you might find that the existing handles look good. If you want to change them I would suggest handles that are consistent with the period of the house/kitchen. And, I would keep them simple based on the design of the cabinetry. :-)