How to Foster a Great Relationship With Your Builder

In this book extract, two building experts reveal how to build a positive working relationship with your builder

Georgia Madden 2 April 2021

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Building or renovating is often a high-stress experience, but you can make it infinitely more pleasant by fostering a solid working relationship with your builder. Being open and upfront, setting clear boundaries and not micro-managing are just some of the ways you can achieve it, say building experts Rebeka Morgan and Kribashini Hannon of BuildHer Collective in their new book, BuildHer.

Read on for more of their insider tips.

BuildHer Collective

Images by Dylan James & Martina Gemmola
Authors and co-founders of BuildHer Collective Rebeka Morgan (left) and Kribashini Hannon (right)

Do you ever hear stories about relationships with tradespeople or building contractors turning sour? We hear about them far too often, and it’s a shame they receive more attention than the good news stories. There are many reasons why relationships between invested parties break down, and we can 100-per-cent confirm that there are always two sides to the story.

BuildHer Collective

Creating and fostering a good relationship with your builder, architect or tradesperson is important, but it’s also rewarding, especially if you want to enjoy your building journey. Builders typically gain reputation through word of mouth, so it’s in their best interest to complete a job to the best of their ability and communicate with you at all stages of the build.

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BuildHer Collective

When it comes to choosing a builder, it’s a jungle out there. There are young and old builders, those with lots of experience dealing and communicating with clients and those who haven’t had that experience and are learning as they go.

The first step is to find a builder who not only comes recommended, but is also the right personality fit for you. They should have good communication skills and a respect for what you’re trying to achieve and why. They also need to suit your style of working and understand your values.

BuildHer Collective

Top tip: If a builder fails to communicate well during the quoting stage and you have reservations about giving them the job, rather than discounting them altogether, it might be worth having a frank conversation about your concerns and see if you can find a way to better communicate before making a decision.

BuildHer Collective

Set clear expectations
When you are upfront with a builder, you help them understand what is important and potentially non-negotiable for you.

An example of this might be the need for a fixed completion date. Perhaps you’re renting a home for the duration of the works and the end date of your rental needs to coincide with the completion of your renovation. There are clauses in contracts that deal with this, but we want to build a good relationship and only refer to contracts if and when we have to.

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BuildHer Collective

When you’re talking to contractors about problems, do so in an informed way. Set a meeting time and write an agenda so everyone knows what will be discussed.

Take notes and circulate them after the meeting. Make sure you write down who’s responsible for following up something and when it needs to be done by. The clearer you can make this the better, and the more decisions you can make together will help you and/or your builder better manage the project.

Be cautious about making design changes, as they can lead to delays and mistakes.

BuildHer Collective

Visit the site regularly and be informed about what’s coming up.
Ask questions that are open-ended to foster good discussions. Don’t micro-manage and do show that you trust all relevant parties to complete the works within your expectations and without shifting the goalposts along the way.

BuildHer Collective

Being part of an online community, such as BuildHer, can be really helpful. Building can be lonely! Sometimes you might feel like it’s you against an entire team of professionals who are more informed and that your opinions mean less, which isn’t right.

Connecting with others who
are going through the same process enables you to share problems and receive help, guidance, advice and confidence, as well as manage any small insecurities that might pop up.

BuildHer Collective

Lastly, address bad behaviour upfront. If your project has started and all of a sudden your builder is not playing by the rules you agreed to, it’s important to address that behaviour straight away. Being dismissive, putting on a show to his or her peers, or ignoring you on site is not on. This should be cleared up immediately in the hope of forging a clear and honest building journey together.

BuildHer Collective

This is an edited extract from BulidHer by Rebeka Morgan and Kribashini Hannon, published by Smith Street Books on 7 April 2021, RRP $45. It is available from Booktopia.

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What have your relationships with your builders been like? Tell us in the Comments below, like this story, save the images, and join the conversation.

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All builders on Houzz use Houzz Pro software to make communication clearer and easier to track. Find a builder here.