Save or Send Off? How to Handle Inherited Items You Don't Love
Feeling guilty for wanting to throw out sentimental items you may not want? Here are some alternative ideas
It’s normal to have sentimental feelings toward some items in your home, but not necessarily want to keep them, or have them taking up space. Here are some ways to loosen your grip on such items, so you can process them thoughtfully and declutter what you want to, while intentionally displaying and keeping what you love.
How do you process these feelings? And what are you meant to do with the items in your home that you feel sentimental towards, but don’t necessarily have a place for?
How to Integrate Family Heirlooms Into Your Home
How to Integrate Family Heirlooms Into Your Home
A great question to ask when coming across these items is, “Does this item make me happy?” If you have a box of gifts from an ex-partner and the memories bring nothing but pain, it’s a good indicator that they can leave your home. If you have items that remind you of broken relationships, missed opportunities or that make you carry guilt, then I recommend considering if they have any place in your life anymore.
Alternatively, you may have some sentimental items that remind you of beautiful relationships, time shared and memories made… but the item itself is broken or not your style. Many adults will keep things they can’t stand simply because they don’t want to offend anyone. And while your intentions are good, you may end up with a house full of stuff that you don’t love and which doesn’t represent your personal style.
I believe it’s important to separate your feelings about an item and your feelings about the person who gave it to you. You can love the person that gave you a gift without loving the gift. You can honour the person who gave you the leopard-print throw rug without keeping it and displaying the rug for all to see.
What about when you have things that remind you of a special memory, but keeping the item has become impractical? How can you honour the memory without keeping the item?Taking digital photos can be a great way to keep in touch with your history. If you have inherited your grandparent’s stamp collection, consider taking some photos of the stamps before donating or selling them to a collector.
Lots of my clients have dinner sets that they have inherited from grandparents. They don’t like the set enough to use it, but they feel bad just sending it to an op-shop. My suggestion is that if you have no intention of using the set in the future, keep just one setting for display instead of the whole set. Keep one plate, one bowl, one cup, one saucer… and donate the rest. That way you’ll save space in the kitchen, but you’ll still retain the memory.
Find a joiner or cabinet maker to help you create more storage and display space
Find a joiner or cabinet maker to help you create more storage and display space
The vast majority of people keep their sentimental items either in a box at the top of their wardrobe, or gathering dust in the back of the garage. Instead of hiding them away, have a think about how you could creatively display your sentimental items around your home.
I love using box frames to display special memorabilia around the home. My grandma knitted my firstborn a gorgeous pair of booties that looked like little football boots. As he grew older, they ended up stuffed at the bottom of his sock drawer. I knew I didn’t want to throw them out, but I also didn’t want to keep a box of baby clothes in the garage as my children grew up.
So I got one of the booties, framed it and it’s hung with our family photos. I then felt fine throwing the second booty away. I’ve seen war medals, pressed-flower bouquets, doilies knitted by nannas and needlework all displayed and honoured like this.
Prized Collections: The Art of Gathering
Prized Collections: The Art of Gathering
So next time you come across a sentimental item and you say to yourself, “I can’t get rid of that”, question why and have a think about how you could honour the memory without necessarily keeping the sentimental item.
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Find an organisation and decluttering expert
If you’re on a decluttering or minimalist journey, it’s common for your progress to grind to a halt when you stumble upon a box of memories, memorabilia or items that belonged to a family member who has passed them on to you.