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Kat

I think where the let down can start to manifest, is with the idea that "retirement is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow". For many, it is anything but. For some, they suddenly realise how much their career was filling in their time. If you are not a social person, retirement can be very lonely and hard. Where one partner is suddenly at home when the other partner has had the house to themselves can cause great conflict, no matter how much you love each other. The person, who now finds themselves at home, often not of their own choosing (experience has no value it seems in this modern world) can find them, feeling lost, unworthy and out of kilter. Depression often follows. In a perfect world, you would have done all the preparation required, but sometimes you don't realise what it will be like until you experience it, (no matter how much you have heard about preparation) particularly if you find yourself retired with not a lot of money for the things you imagined you would experience, such as travel, entertainment or even courses to fill in your time. If you have not been blessed with grandchildren (won't go into that) it can be a very sad situation that you find yourself in. It often seems to take a greater effort to lift yourself up, as you age, than it once did

   
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olldroo

Well said Kat, could not agree more, it is so much harder to get moving and I think more so for a single person - there is no one there to motivate or inspire, to just be there, to help pick you up when you are down. Just going to the movies on your own gets wearing. You took me back when you said about one partner retiring when the other has been home all their life - how many women I've heard complain not being able to get things done because husbands just want endless cups of tea. It was definitely a hang over from the days when women did not work or weren't allowed to.

I did have neighbour once who really made me laugh, she married very late in life, he was looking forward to retiring and them having an endless honeymoon but she would not let him - she was so used to living on her own, she needed to get used to just having a man in the house before she could cope with having him home all day.

   
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Brenda Gardener

Leaving a relationship that was no longer nurturing and setting off into retirement on my own has been liberating for me. I have the time to travel and make friends in my new neighbourhood. I potter about and garden or read or just head off to more artistic pursuits enjoying the freedom this has given me. My home is decluttered, clean and tidy and feels and looks like a sanctuary.

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