Is that follow the same as what I pointed out glschisler?

The follow that I'm referring to is to follow the posted dilemma. In this way, you don't have to respond but will receive an email when others respond.

Glscisler That’s following Jan not the post. I’m ok with following Jan but I think shirlpp was discussing following a post not a particular person.

This is an interesting discussion, but you all know that new posters aren't going to see it and will continue to post their questions or pleas for help just as they always do, without following someone's arbitrary 'rules.' And then they will get jumped on and chastised for not knowing the 'rules,' sometimes in a very rude manner, often by some who do that and then never come back to the thread to offer, even if the OP tries to correct their faux pas. It's disheartening to see so many people post and then never return. Most of the time, it's easy to see why they disappear.

Why do you assume that new posters won't see this discussion? Many visitors to the site will read a lot of posts prior to posting their own dilemma. This one has quite an eye-catching title!

And one of the reasons they "disappear" is that either they don't care for the advice, they're taking the advice, or they're just too busy.

Diana, I assumed because so many new posters/threads are told to provide more pics, more details, floor plans and measurements, day in and day out. If they were reading before they post, they would do those things, but they don't. So many disappear after particularly harsh treatment.

Of course they won’t see this. They are new, don’t know how the forum works, there are no pinned or highlighted how to guides, and so they are set up for failure. And so it goes every day on this lovely forum

I can see both sides of the issue, olychick. As a designer it's frustrating to read these dilemmas and have to request needed information day in and day out, and not get it. It's difficult to provide useful advice without information about scale, sizing, style, architectural features, etc., etc. Some responders are just venting that frustration. On the other hand, I understand how someone can be put off by comments that are brusque or lack tact. But it's the internet, so you take the good with the not so good.

I've seen posters here who are blown away by the generosity and level of detail given by many regulars on this site. Jan and Beth H. come to mind--I don't know how they have the time to come up with such detailed and practical solutions to many problems. And all for free.

I'm not disparaging the generosity of time and talent, but I tend to empathize with new posters who don't know they are being hazed into a club they know nothing about, while just seeking some guidance.

Seriously?

Following……from ipad…..no follow button to click

"hazed into a club" is a bit strong, n'est pas?

Following......

If you are signed in to receive notifications, any thread you find interesting and want to follow doesn't require you add an idea, or a suggestion - you just want to be able to find it.

Type in a single word or two...it need not be "following" . "Interesting project" ...." look forward to outcome" . " Good luck ! " Whatever!

You've got a screen name, the idea police aren't going to knock down your door.

" Hazed into a club"....."set up for failure"

How many times have we seen this:

" I'm a total newbie, and I need......" That post often gets just as many "Welcome to Houzz! Can you add a picture of what you have in mind, I'm sure many will jump in......."

Diana B and I often text or email, we've never met. Same with Beth Heim...never met Beth and she's on the other side of the country!

A few years ago, I needed someone with real talent to supervise an install in Florida. I found that gal through a designer on houzz, who at the time was a frequent commenter - great taste and very accustomed to luxury clients. She replied, and that gal she recommended was my lifesaver! Perfection install!

It's not an exclusive club - it is inclusive! Could not have done this concierge, pre xmas task from 2000 miles and no client home....with ordinary delivery guys!

They'd make up the bed? No....

In general · More Info

In general · More Info

You can make friends, not make friends. Come and go as you please: ) but as with anything else, if you plan on being disappointed, no doubt you can find a way to be disappointed.

Tina - i am on an iPad - The “follow” button is at the bottom of the original post

To tag someone in a post, you should be able to select @ followed by the user name in the link. I did try to tag you but it was not clear which ”Tina” you are

"hazed into a club" is a bit strong, n'est pas?"

Yes, a bit strong. Maybe a bad analogy. I just meant that people post here for the first time and don't understand the unwritten "rules" to get help. Some people who hang out here to help apparently tire of the constant stream of new people not following the "rules" and can be very sharp and unwelcoming in their criticism about not enough information. The new poster doesn't know they're the 20th recent poster who has to be asked for more info, so is taken aback by the tone of some respondents. Not everyone, for sure. Many are gracious in their request for more info and then follow up when it's given.

Olychick,

That was the point of the thread. I'm of the mind that there are so, so , so many ways Houzz could be more user friendly. I think the Dilemma feature, despite traffic to the site, is hardly the biggest concern in Palo Alto. E commerce is. A click on the home icon , and the first thing you see is "shop Houzz" !

Many new folks may not realize how the site has changed since inception. There was a time, maybe from 2009 -....2011 or 12ish when there was no pro designation beside a post in this dilemma section. I wrote an email, and said, "It sure would be nice (validate) , perhaps allow an op to determine the value or weight in the feedback". Very shortly after? Pro....in green. Was it me? Doubt it, may have been a lot of us!

There were regular "Story features" . Many from designated outside contributors, along with Houzz editors. Lots of changes: ) At one point I got an email asking me if I'd be interested in doing a regular contribution. Following up, and considering the rules and commitment- nah! but thanks for asking!

So, as you see ? Still at it in my own blah blah way.

Considering that this is an open to anyone internet forum, I think the decorum is remarkably tame and friendly compared to the wild west that is the dark hole of online opinion sharing.

I distinctly remember when I made the switch from Apartment Therapy to Houzz sometime around 2011. It has been a great place to stick around ever since.

AM……I don’t have email/save/comment/follow anywhere. I’m sure if I go on my desktop they are there but I use my iPad.

I’m on an iPad mini - it has very little functionality, no bells or whistles, no follow, edit, etc. So please understand that we can’t all access the same features.

If you want to get notifications of a thread (i.e. follow the story) you can comment with the word "following" or just "bump". Once you comment, you can see the entire thread in "notifications". It is at the bottom of my iPad app.

You can't edit mid-stream on the app, but you can on a desktop. I double check my comments before hitting send for that reason. Misspelled words don't get you an "F" here....

I have always gotten sloof help here even if ftom regular people s the pros hsve been very generous, Jen Julie & Beth eithe it help!!! Tryinto decipher my typing and questions hsd Vern a whole new road to travel…with my stroke snd not gettin out much I really sore cistern this community.I Csntvwsit yo get your help with my daughters new house!!!

RedRyder, yes but further up shirlpp asked us not to do that, to use the follow button instead, which may not exist depending on your mode of access. Trying to gently point out that we do not all have the same options. :)

Hi @ker9 - Jan posted some nice word suggestions to use other than using following:

Following......

If you are signed in to receive notifications, any thread you find interesting and want to follow doesn't require you add an idea, or a suggestion - you just want to be able to find it.

Type in a single word or two...it need not be "following" . "Interesting project" ...." look forward to outcome" . " Good luck ! " Whatever!

I know I may be exposing a tangent, but something that is equally annoying is when someone reads the dilemma, skips over tons of conversation and adds an idea that has already been solved.

^^😉 Haven’t read all the responses, but TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS in a room when taking pictures indoors. And when taking outdoor pictures, make sure the sun is at your back and lighting the structure you are photographing.

Tina - I’m on an iPad, too. I think the difference is that I am using the Houzz website on my iPad (not the app) and you may be using the app. The website is much more functional and easier to use than the app.

A M…could be, thanks for the info.

As AM above! I do same on my phone. Actually don't even have the app. Advantage is you can edit: ) so you don't appear unable to spell.

What I don't like is when pro's get offended if you don't immediately agree or listen to their advice just by waiting for all opinions to come in. "Let us know when you get the answer you WANT. : )" is what one often writes. I believe there are often multiple ways to do something and I'm here to listen to everyone before I can process it all. Sometimes a non-pro rides in at the last second with the perfect solution/advice. There are some very talented people that hang out here that are not professionals.

I decided to look back at a dilemma I posted years ago to see which "PRO" was so snarky even to the point that not only do I remember it clearly but that others objected to her condescending comments. The pro did not like my artwork and started putting quotes around the word "Art" when she would refer to it. Lo and behold, it was Jan! Hazing is one thing but being insulting about someone's taste in art is just rude for no reason.

I rarely, virtually never critique anyone's choice in art. If you love it you hang it. If a client loves it, I hang or re frame to best advantage or place to best advantage. To me all art that is mass made, print, poster - anything from art canvas to well crafted reproduction oil paintings or something cute I might pop over a kids bed from a discount....in a kitchen for a touch of color? None of it is art. It's art as wall decor......thus? "ART"

Art can be a drawing your own child made in the fourth grade, a bit of a treasure crafted, Something one off and ....................

See the coffee table.

Sitting atop those books? A paper mache dinosaur! Made by a child long out of the house with her own new baby. Yanked from the built in in his office. why? Wit, charm, personal, sentimental and yes, art. Not "art"

Lo and behold. : )

Traditions refined · More Info

Great thread Jan!

Interesting to see points of view.

I do like to offer advice freely, it is a nice break in the middle of my day.

I have learned from the tile experts, Joseph C , the interior designers architects and all sorts of pros. I had a moment where I thought I would cut out for a while and then I got a message. It was from a poster, who used a layout I had posted for her kitchen. She was kind enough to send me pictures of the finished space and she was so happy.

That was all I needed - I will keep throwing in my 2 cents - popular or not and I hope the rest of you do as well!

Well, your remark made another PRO write "Wow, Jan, art in quotation marks.... not cool. This is exactly what's wrong with the whole inferior "decorating". Too often design and decorating used interchangeably especially on sites like houzz. They are not the same thing and require different skills. Decorating is making everything "pretty" and trendy. Designing is "form follows function" and other timeless principles. When somebody collects Art (no quotes!) their house has to accommodate it not the other way around."

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... but by then you were gone into the night.

Paul, along the lines of offending pros, are the frequent threads where prolific pros jump on it, post their ideas, then like a dog with a bone, posts and posts and posts. If the OP doesn't jump on their bandwagon, or if another person offers more appealing advice somewhere in the thread, there develops a competition to try to win the OP back. It results, oftentimes in those mega threads and just makes the pro look desperate to be "the one" to be listened to. Because her ideas, she believes, are superior.

The thread was intended to help the poster of the question, put in content that helps to get them valuable answers, and shorten the route to those replies. I'm not the hall monitor- I would simply say a few veers, airing the laundry, are to be expected and even enjoyed in the thread, but perhaps not quite as useful for a someone looking to post. They might even suggest a clique, which Houzz is not. I'd love to catalogue every sling or arrow ever directed at me, but rather a pointless exercise, n'est pas?

I don't "poke bears" unless I'm repeatedly poked. I'd hardly mention "a lack of art", in a home so clearly dominated by.........windows. The hint at "no soul" whatever has escaped exact verbiage/ memory: )

Thank you Jan for the helpful advice on how to get the most useful answers to the help we are seeking!

Since communication is a two-way street, when someone provides a comment to a post, it is so nice when it is understandable, even if it isn't quite the solution the poster had in mind. And if the poster doesn't understand, and requests clarification, it is so helpful when the commenter, especially a Pro, makes an effort to directly address the question.

True tale and to any passerby above.

I had a local independent shoe store near my home. The owner had absolutely fabulous taste ; obnoxious may well have been her middle name. The place was loaded with not just the terrific shoes, but well edited bags, great belts, even a smattering of clothing. She relocated to a small strip mall at one point - sent postcards to the entire mailing list......" We're moving! Same great stuff, same baaaad attitude!".......

Houzz has 65 million users. You are going to like comments, hate comments. Enjoy camaraderie, or keep to yourself and "lurk" as it's commonly referred to, here : )

You can make up your mind to loathe a soul you've never met - a stance equally guaranteed to make you loathe every word they may type while discarding the contribution as worthless as the owner.

You "know" n.o.b.o.d.y. Don't know if their spelling is a result of dyslexia or worse? A stroke. Don't know if rich ,poor, living in a city, town, in a manse or in a darn teepee. Don't know what they do with the rest of their time. Don't know if they abandoned a workday to spend six hours/gratis texting links back and forth, doing three way calls to help a client and her daughter 2000 miles away get her hubby out of a hospital to memory care in two days and furnish the room. You don't know diddly squat, actually.

So......let's all please, if possible, park the snark for this thread, the purpose of which was intended to do as the title says.

Thank you!

I plan on using this URL when necessary, so it would be nice to not have rampant negativity while trying to help a poster.

I used the URL this morning! : ) so much easier than typing out the asks!

Also, you can reverse order on postings. With that "newest,' Or "oldest" button. At least I can...not sure on I pad? Maybe it's not there on the Ipad?

Can you post this in Home Decorating also?

I found this very amusing:

RappArchitecture said: "I would just add that correct spelling and grammer (sic) is also helpful."

Especially given that they went on to say that they would never respond to a dilemma with incorrect spelling in the title. Granted, this sentence wasn't the title, but you know...

There you go : ) !

The unintentional stone hurled from the glass house. Probably enclosing the "dinning room" lol?

Makes me shutter ( sic) to even type this.

Haha, good catch, catbuilder!

If only we didn't have these moments......

As I sat awaiting my brew this morning @ 4:00, and grabbed the mug......poured.

Only to discover I had left out the coffee, the filter and all last night. Hot water !!!? Start over and ugh. Focus fails us at times.: )

Here's a good example of why grammar/spelling/punctuation/capitalization matters. This was copied and pasted, word for word, from a design dilemma today:

"They look nice even without the valance but if you must put up you going to have to have another rod pie going longer than the current panel and I'll be on the sides of your wall but you got that header going across I think it makes it look like it has it already built in even though it's not it Just helps it make it look that way so I would just leave it as is"

It's impossible to understand what this person was trying to say :(

On the bright side, at least they spelled "valance" correctly.

I saw it too. But....this is why I absolutely detest posting from my phone while in a cozy bar waiting for my glass! It is harder to see, harder to edit, my fingertip is too fat, and I often come home, see my own comment .......and EEKS! immediately edit the typos. Why, because does anyone really care? Yes, I do.

Also because I know my pal Diana B - stickler for grammar, spelling and punctuation, will eventually see it and say " she must have been absolutely 100% smashed when she put THAT one up!"

There is definitely lots of good advice here, so thanks, Jan! Clearly, we all look at things differently, so all those opinions come out in posts/answers. Yes, courtesy is always a good thing, but it can be annoying to see people ask for help in ways that seem to lack any common sense at all (e.g. when they ask ”what color should I paint my so-and-so room?” when we don’t know a thing about them, their taste in furniture, colors etc), or when people seem unable to choose a simple vase, bowl, throw pillow or other decorative item without asking the Houzz community for advice or approval! I think it’s such situations that bring out frustrations in some, and it’s understandable, n’est-ce pas? So yes, some pros are direct and might come across as rude at times, but they’re also helpful and, in some cases, hilarious.😉 Happy posting!

I'm in 100% agreement : )

I'll add....

I think very few realize the astounding amount of care, thought, and incomparably wise and experienced help that comes back to them in comments on Houzz.. For F.R.E.E Some is from pros with decades of experience and just as much is provided by the gen pop who've remodeled, built, for themselves! Nothing like doing, to gain a ton of experience! Just because a poster doesn't have to write a check, or yank out a credit card, in no way devalues what they may get in invaluable reply.

When a poster vaporizes into thin air and never returns, when someone gets a hair in their fanny because the truth is not something they want to hear......when all the excellent and seasoned advice is just completely ignored?

Sign most of us baffled.

I put a feature on that, and not because I was thanked . I still may yell I am OUT!!!

I put it there because good information in, plus a willingness to consider that advice, can take you where you never imagined, or thought possible. That's why : ) I still may kill her at some point in the future..............