Politeness Policies for When Family Comes to Stay
Avoid wars over the air con, pet peeves and the great shower squeeze with these tips for having family as houseguests
Where are you supposed to have Grandma sleep when you don’t have a guest room? Who controls the temperature on the air conditioning? Who gets the first shower? And do you have to let your brother bring his dog? Having family come to stay can be both easier (you know what to expect) and harder (fighting is more familiar) than having friends as houseguests. Here’s how to handle these quandaries and more.
Be flexible about temperature
If you’re used to keeping the air con constantly set at a breezy 22 degrees, it may be time to loosen your grip. Older relatives may want the rooms to feel nice and cosy … which may seem hot to you, but remind yourself it’s only temporary.
Of course, if you notice the AC set to a wildly inappropriate temp (like 35 degrees) it’s reasonable to adjust it – and assure your warmth-loving relation you will be sure to keep things plenty warm without going overboard.
If you’re used to keeping the air con constantly set at a breezy 22 degrees, it may be time to loosen your grip. Older relatives may want the rooms to feel nice and cosy … which may seem hot to you, but remind yourself it’s only temporary.
Of course, if you notice the AC set to a wildly inappropriate temp (like 35 degrees) it’s reasonable to adjust it – and assure your warmth-loving relation you will be sure to keep things plenty warm without going overboard.
Don’t make your elders sleep on the couch
Sure, if your kid sister is coming to stay, it’s OK to ask her to take the couch or sleep on an air mattress. But when it’s Mum or Grandpa we’re talking about, they deserve a bed … and if your bed is the only bed in the house, that means you’ll be sleeping on the couch.
How to squeeze guest space into any room
Respect privacy
Need something from your bedroom, but Grandma’s staying in there? For the time being, consider it her bedroom. Always knock and wait for a reply before entering. And if you need something while she’s not in the room, it’s still polite to let her know you’ll be going in.
Sure, if your kid sister is coming to stay, it’s OK to ask her to take the couch or sleep on an air mattress. But when it’s Mum or Grandpa we’re talking about, they deserve a bed … and if your bed is the only bed in the house, that means you’ll be sleeping on the couch.
How to squeeze guest space into any room
Respect privacy
Need something from your bedroom, but Grandma’s staying in there? For the time being, consider it her bedroom. Always knock and wait for a reply before entering. And if you need something while she’s not in the room, it’s still polite to let her know you’ll be going in.
Discuss shower schedules
Have a quick chat with your guests about their preferred shower times as they’re getting settled in – this is especially important if you have only one shower, or if the hot water is temperamental. If it sounds like there’ll be a time crunch, offer to take your own shower in the evening.
Have a quick chat with your guests about their preferred shower times as they’re getting settled in – this is especially important if you have only one shower, or if the hot water is temperamental. If it sounds like there’ll be a time crunch, offer to take your own shower in the evening.
Make it clear what’s theirs and what’s yours
Your family should respect your privacy when staying with you, but they may not. That’s just family. It’s a gracious touch to leave out extra toiletries for your guests to use, but you may also want to tuck out of sight anything you don’t want them to use (or see), like that super expensive face cream you use only a drop of, or your prescription meds.
Your family should respect your privacy when staying with you, but they may not. That’s just family. It’s a gracious touch to leave out extra toiletries for your guests to use, but you may also want to tuck out of sight anything you don’t want them to use (or see), like that super expensive face cream you use only a drop of, or your prescription meds.
Have a guest-friendly kitchen
When family has travelled from afar, their eating schedules can be thrown way off. Make it obvious where the snacks and breakfast-making supplies are by keeping everything right out on the kitchen bench, and your fam can help themselves whenever hunger strikes.
15 essentials for the entertainer’s kitchen
When family has travelled from afar, their eating schedules can be thrown way off. Make it obvious where the snacks and breakfast-making supplies are by keeping everything right out on the kitchen bench, and your fam can help themselves whenever hunger strikes.
15 essentials for the entertainer’s kitchen
Stock up on favourites
One good thing about having family come to stay is that you are probably already quite familiar with their preferences. Know Dad needs his super-strength coffee first thing in the morning? Be sure to pick up a bag of the good stuff and set out all of the equipment where he can easily see it. Then he won’t have to disturb you to find the milk jug or coffee tamper.
One good thing about having family come to stay is that you are probably already quite familiar with their preferences. Know Dad needs his super-strength coffee first thing in the morning? Be sure to pick up a bag of the good stuff and set out all of the equipment where he can easily see it. Then he won’t have to disturb you to find the milk jug or coffee tamper.
Help your family understand baby’s routines (but stay flexible)
If you have a wee one in the house, it can be mighty frustrating when your in-laws come booming in right at nap time. But they won’t know better unless you tell them – and that’s usually best done before something goes awry.
Of course, it’s pretty much impossible to keep everything the same for baby with a houseful of people. Do some deep breathing and remind yourself this is not forever. Then do your best to roll with it.
If you have a wee one in the house, it can be mighty frustrating when your in-laws come booming in right at nap time. But they won’t know better unless you tell them – and that’s usually best done before something goes awry.
Of course, it’s pretty much impossible to keep everything the same for baby with a houseful of people. Do some deep breathing and remind yourself this is not forever. Then do your best to roll with it.
Aim to have at least one meaningful event
This could be anything: a group outing, a hike in the woods, a family photo shoot or a late-night poker game – it totally depends on you and your family. When the visit’s done, if there was just one thing that went over really well, that’s all most people will remember in years to come.
TELL US
Will your family be staying with you over the holidays? Share your tales and tips in the Comments!
MORE
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4 Ideas for Impressing Guests Within Mere Minutes
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This could be anything: a group outing, a hike in the woods, a family photo shoot or a late-night poker game – it totally depends on you and your family. When the visit’s done, if there was just one thing that went over really well, that’s all most people will remember in years to come.
TELL US
Will your family be staying with you over the holidays? Share your tales and tips in the Comments!
MORE
10 Thoughtful Touches You Can Add to a Guest Bedroom
4 Ideas for Impressing Guests Within Mere Minutes
How to Be the Perfect House Guest
Some issues can be minimised with smart planning. If you know that you and a certain in-law will be fighting by day three, don’t let their visit be a week-long event. When there are ongoing family conflicts, it’s better for everyone to keep things short and sweet.
Also know that you are not obligated to provide pet housing. If you’re allergic to dogs or simply don’t want your brother’s bull terrier eating your couch cushions, tell him in advance to make other arrangements for the pooch – he may be upset initially, but it would be better than fighting over a dog during the entire visit.