I'd fire that kitchen design person lol. No such thing as a corner pantry being outdated. I would bet she is new to the biz and has no real clue. If you have the space, then go for it. I have a closet in my kitchen that is considered a pantry, but kinda wish it was just a large floor to ceiling cabinet. I have a base and wall corner cabinet that I started to use for mostly canned and dry foods and it works much better because it's closer to my stove. Whatever works for you the way you use your kitchen would be the way to go :)

as a mum I agree worktop is priority, but also there's extreemly little cupboard storage so I would stick with the pantry cupboard and add a freestanding ikea Varde unit like attached pic ( I would have preferred integrated dishwasher too and a bit of moulding/ shape to the door style in a perfect world ) where's the fridge supposed to go?

Unless buying custom manufactured wood cabinets, you are buying a series of boxes. A 100k euro kitchen installation of an Italian kitchen is one example from my portfolio. Differences are found in the hardware, the door/drawer pulls, weight of doors and exterior finishes. It is about the design, first. In our region, you can knock off 1200-2000 just be sticking with a full depth fridge--but it is design that will make it possible to install full depth and get a counter depth effect. In the Garden Oaks Fine Accommodation residential display suite I needed to prove that a high-end design can be executed for less. Again, it is design that does the trick. The owner of the kitchen above loves the pendants over the breakfast counter. I did not have the heart to reveal the price--$19 each. That owner likes/needs bling so the 14k euro chandeliers (2) in the foyer are a feature. But we get more comments on our pendants--because they are integral to the overall design. Real estate agents have pegged this kitchen at anywhere from 45-75k. It cost under 30k. DYI projects offer the opportunity to take the time that you might not otherwise allow to a designer (hence our need to come equipped with knowledge, contacts and suppliers that augment our services). I recommend drawing from images (Houzz is great for that) to start, then researching suppliers, collecting specs, and developing a document that covers all aspects of the kitchen from lifestyle needs to style to comparisons of product reviews. Whittle it down to an instruction for purchase and installation. Consider challenges such as the dreadful corner cabinet turntable and splurge on solutions that make your design truly functional. You'll appreciate the expense that delivers practical functionality. There are remarkable solutions for the corner cabinet--but my fav is to determine whether that space can become storage (cabinet or drawers) in an adjoining room. When not practical, articulated pull-out stainless shelves are functional--and cool. Undermounted sinks are great for clean-line counters. Well placed recessed lighting (design again) eliminates the need for other fixtures--and allows you free rein to purchase for focal point impact or (my preference) to fit seamlesly into the overall look. Enjoy the journey--have fun!

Lighting - pendants over the servery bench should be another feature that complements your chosen kitchen surfaces. So whilst I love the copper pendants in picture 1.. They could work depending on the rest of your decor and would be a highlight in a neutral white/timber kitchen = Good! If you choose copper you would complement it with a couple of copper bench top items. These are beautiful! (I collect copper because I love it, my kitchen pendants are silver, I renovated to sell in the next 3-5 years) You will see a picture starting to form in your mind and there is nothing wrong with making a statement with your lighting. I found that when I wasn't sure I would get a very strong sense of what was right and what was wrong for a space, then common sense or passion would determine the outcome! Here are another couple that might work, look her on Houzz under lighting, search pendants, then have fun looking!Timber tones with black or white to complement your cabinets... or Statement white pendants for a bit of quirky fun! Your personality can be reflected in your lighting and accessories creating that point of difference from the predictable white on timber look. Plus don't forget the power of greenery to punctuate the theme!